Mary Ellen Meyer ( January 2, 1934 - October 6, 2021)
"I see tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything." Shakespeare, As You Like It.
Mary Ellen Meyer was born January 2, 1934 (or "1-2-3-4," as she'd like to point out), in Sterling, Kansas. She was the second child of Raymond Harold Scott and Mary Margaret (Crawford).
Mary was not born into, nor did she live in opulence. Her mother became the head of the house when Mary was ten years old, and although there was little to go around, Mary remembered fondly the glorious school clothing her mother would sew for her. She inherited her mother's gift for needle, thread, and fabric, spending many delightful hours pursuing her passion for sewing and quilting.
She had a creative spirit and loved learning. She attended grade school in Great Bend, Kansas, and graduated from high school there in 1952. For two years she attended Southwestern College in Winfield, Kansas, leaving formal education for a time to start a family. She returned to her studies in 1963, earning a bachelor's degree in education at Phillips University in Enid, Oklahoma. At that same university, she earned her master's in education in 1968 and went on to study literature in a graduate program at Oklahoma State University from 1970 to 1972.
She moved to the front of the classroom while in Enid, taking a position as a reading teacher at Waller Junior High, and she went on to hold many leadership posts in education. She served as the president for the Cimarron Reading Council and was an executive board member for the Oklahoma Council of Teachers, and she also served that organization as a program leader and consultant. Her work would sometimes range beyond education, including work as a community organizer in Oklahoma City, the development director for the New Mexico State Library, and the proprietor of The Roaring Mouse Cheese and Gourmet Shop in Albuquerque, NM. But she always returned to education. Before retiring Mary taught early childhood facility management at Tarrant County Community College in Texas, and later worked as disabilities coordinator for Head Start of Tarrant County and North Texas.
Mary also answered the call of global missionary work. She graduated from the Academy of the Ecumenical Institute in Chicago, which led her on an odyssey that circled the globe in 1973, making stops in Thailand, India, South Africa, Egypt, Greece, France, and England. In New Delhi, she and her group met with Mother Theresa, who encouraged them to go home and serve in their own communities, and that's exactly what Mary went on to do. She graduated from the Ecumenical Institute in 1975, and in 2010 she found time for one more global adventure when she accompanied members of Helena's St. Paul's congregation on a medical mission to Mozambique.
As with all things Mary, her family life had its share of challenge and joy. She and her first husband, Frank Cates, had three children-Jeffrey, Joe and Susan. After Frank died, Mary went on to marry the love of her life, Ross Edward Meyer, whom she had met for the first time in the sixth grade. When they found their way to each other in 1968, they began a journey that was to last 52 years. "How I love to dance with Ross!" she often exclaimed. In 1999, she and Ross moved to Montana and built their dream home: a place where Mary could quilt and garden, a place where Ross could watch the trains pass by, and a place to fellowship with their new Montana neighbors.
In their new community, Mary immediately got busy creating new friends, hosting sewing circles, planning potlucks, and, in general, teaching Montana about the blessings of southern hospitality. She quilted to her heart's content and created an amazing yard that became home for birds, butterflies, deer, and even a field mouse or two. She would regularly share wisdom in pithy but motivational ways, often saying things like, "When was the last time you did something for the first time?" or "When God closes one door, he opens another, but the hallway between the doors can be a nightmare." Often, when a friend was struggling with a dilemma, Mary would counsel that there were really only three questions to ask, "1) what's the problem? 2) whose problem is it? and 3) want can I do about it right here and right now?"
Mary was a superior chef, owning over 150 well-used cookbooks and creating masterful meals to feed both body and soul. The best recipe to ever drop from one of her well-used recipe boxes-one in her own handwriting-was the "Recipe for Happy":
Recipe for Happy
1. Yard Work
2. Phone a friend
3. Call a new or different person every day just because
4. Sing
5. Play MaJong
6. Eat yogurt with fruit and chocolate chips
7. Read library books
8. NAP!
9. Save a worm from drowning!!!
10. Smile-inside and outside
Mary's faith took her beyond recipes. She believed in the goodness of everybody and in the goodness and fairness of God. "If there's a litmus test for grace," she would say, "then there is no grace. There are infinite paths to Heaven." For Mary, there are no qualifications about what the New Testament teaches. It always comes down to feeding the poor, caring for the sick, visiting the prisoner, and seeking justice for all.
Mary was a devoted, enthusiastic, and committed member of the worldwide fellowship of Al-Anon and Alateen. She believed in the here and now, and that God is in every moment.
Mary passed away October 6, 2021. She was preceded in death by her parents, her first husband Frank, her son Joe, and her grandson Nathan. She is survived by her husband Ross, her brother Bob Scott (Kay), her son Jeff, her daughter Susan Branch of Orange, California, six grandchildren, five great-grandchildren, and four cats.
The celebration of Mary's life occurred on October 28th at St. Paul's Methodist church. A video of that event can be found HERE.
In lieu of flowers, please give to the Alzheimer's Association in Mary's name (P.O. Box 96011 Washington, D.C. 20090) or the Lewis & Clark Humane Society. But more than anything else, make sure to live every day in the spirit of one of Mary's favorite songs:
This is the day we have
This is the day we have
You can take this day and throw it away
Or you can take this day and live!
(Reprint from Helena Independent Record, Oct. 24, 2021.)