Like the end of a toilet paper roll, 2022 is wrapping up at warp speed. In no time, Thanksgiving arrives, finding us eating a meal in 30 minutes that took two days to prepare. Christmas soon follows and replays this scenario. From those who’ve unwillingly transitioned into the oldest generation, please think about your gatherings as a time not only to eat but also to save family stories.
Not everyone shares my interest, but I was the kid who loved listening to elders’ conversations. It didn’t matter whether it involved Thanksgiving, Christmas, Memorial Day, or a funeral, older relatives’ discussions eventually shifted from present concerns to fascinating people, events, places, and memories that created the warp and weft of our family tapestry. I heard those stories so many times and looked at sepia-toned photos enough, details burned themselves into my memory. Wrong!
After Grandma passed, my mother and aunts who’d listened to the same stories could still identify faces in photos and call up details from long ago. Foolishly, I didn’t anticipate their dementia or last breath, and I still didn’t label names on notes to stick to backs of photos or keep a notebook to jot down significant places and events in family history.
Unknowingly, I relied on others’ memories. Once our grandparents died, I realized each story had a different twist, depending on who told it. Both of my parents were youngest children, trailing their next closest siblings by five years and both nearly a decade younger than the oldest offspring. The resulting versions revealed how time, birth order, and gender influenced the tale. When older cousins recollected their early relationships with our grandparents, I wondered if we knew the same people.
Now that our elders have passed, my husband and I find ourselves trying to recall specifics from oft told tales. What we thought we’d never forget has vanished in the mists of time or brains full of present concerns. For those who still have seniors joining holiday gatherings, bring a notebook and sticky notes for labeling backs of photos. Record who’s in the pictures and when and where it was taken. Create a timeline of family events and jot in important details regarding who, what, when, where, and why. Add to it each time you gather. Trust me, a day will come when stories mush together or you and a cousin disagree about facts.
Create a family recipe collection to share. Some relatives don’t cook, but what folks serve at gatherings is important to your story. My students created family books their sophomore year that included five family recipes that told who made the dish and when it was served. I loved reading their responses. Kids with Damar ancestors shared a common sausage stuffing recipe. Volga German descendants listed ways to make bierocks, green bean dumpling soup, galuskies, and hertzen. Over the decades, a few youngsters shared a delicacy involving boiled chicken feet. Imagine my surprise when I learned my husband’s family also looked forward to this holiday treat. Thank goodness my English ancestors struggled to find eels and kidneys to make holiday pies, forcing our clan into traditional dishes like roast turkey followed by pumpkin pie.
That said, I have Great Grandma’s faded English recipes written in her own hand. Hopefully, we never use them, but we know where we came from. Record your stories while you enjoy the holidays.
Karen is a retired teacher, writer, photographer, outdoors lover, and sixth-generation Kansan. After a time away, she’s glad to be home.